SLAPPED by REALITY

"i woke up late today...
got freaked out...
rushed through my morning routines...
and ran out the door...
thinking to myself that--
my sister would be mad,
i was supposed to take her to school.
my mom would be yelling: for i had bad time management.
i'd get detention... for it's been one too many times i'm late.
i'd missed the bus, for... it's stopped for me 20 mins ago....
--when i was not there?
scared out of my wits... these 20 mins could RUIN MY LIFE...

reached the door.

looked out to the outside world.

nd stopped.


--There was my mom... watering the plants.
she looks at me like i'm a freak.
my sister burst out laughing...
i say sorry about being late...the bus. my school. my sis.

Life... had went on as normally as it ever would.
only i felt anxious. frantic. guilty.

then all my mom did was threw me the morning paper.

i checked the date...

it was Sunday.

and as i stood there... the stupidity of the situation sank in.

life passes idly by on its own tracks.

--i'm standing on my doorstep. half in my pj shortshorts, the other half was a sweater messily pulled over. my hair in a tangle of GODS KNOWS WHAT. with my opened backpack slung over my shoulders.
...people STARED.
...humility SINKS in.
...yet laughter escapes, as an invisible weight lifted off my shoulders and i sighs with relief.
...i realized i no longer CARED. maybe more like PASSED the point of caring...


--I WAS... SLAPPED IN THE FACE BY REALITY." - me.

wow.

just saw picss...

:[ never have i felt so isolated as this.


guess i should have been used to it??

...
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...
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well... anywayss...


Happy birthday lily. :]

even tho i was 4 minutes late from saying it to you on the act. dayy... >_<
i'll give you ur present when we hang. :]

HOPE

"i hope that days come easy...and moments pass slow.
and each road leads you... where you want to go,
and if you're faced with a choice
and you have to chose
i hope you chose the one, that means the most to you.
and if one door opens to another door closed
i hope you keep on walking,
till you find the window

my wish for you,
is that life becomes all that you want it,
to your dreams stay big
and your worries stay small
you never need to carry more
than you can hold."

i can let things go now...

since i can seriously say i tried.
tho i am a bit disappointed. after so many yrs. i would think
it would take alot more to ruin things... but the way i see it... if i stopped trying,
then no one else would try. then it would really be the end.
nd now i've stopped.
...
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...
oh wells.... lets see how things go from here.



nd.... HELLOO COLLEGE. :D