Drowning in the Rain

Drowning in the Rain

I sat alone as your face flashed by.
I stared in the crowd...
— All I can look for is the figure of your back
I listened to songs,
Just to realize they’re yours.
All the places I went…
It’s your footsteps I see.

Here was where I cried as you confessed.
There was where we kissed under the rain filled sky...
The sweetest first kiss one could ever felt...
—You’d smiled and said.
The store we’d shared our first drinks--
Stood open—welcoming.
It’s all part of a past now.
We were so young then...
Blushing; anxious…
The nervousness of puppy-love.

The sky now rumbles: it warns of rain.
The clouds cover every blue in sight.
A light cold drizzle greeted the blacktop.
Yet I sat under the lonely bus stop...
Silently wishing...
Staring... looking for a familiar smile--
A shadow of that same warming light.
Drowning in nothing but the past.
Even as I was drowning in the rain.


By: Me. :\

wrote this awhile back on a rainy night... and for this past weekend, it was raining. so i thought it'd be appropriate to post. :]

I LOVE THE RAIN.

Wishhh... Swishhhh. :]

I LOVE YOU SECRET SANTA...

-wish list not in any particular order... but the ones i think is cute i commented on. ;p

- VS stuff are only able to order online... nd they come pretty fast too.

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1. Colin Stuart Patent Mary Jane - S: 6 or 6.5 black (or wine if black isn't avai.) i REALLY like this. :]


4. "Love makes the world go round" Tee!!! size small if possible. if not then any size they have is fine.. :]

5. Braided strap slub top black, purple, OR mustard... YOU chose. ;] size small


8. Snoopy Love tee

9. floral mesh overlay top

10. H81 Torn Up Faded Straight Leg GREY Size: 25 I WANT THIS STYLE OF JEANS.

11. Vans GREY slip-ons size 6.5

12. black or grey Toms Size 6.5

13. VS Prima Cotton Swing Cardigan with Scarf size: small

14. Bunny Ankle Boots size 6 or 6.5 THESE ARE CUTEEEE <33 nd SEXIIII. ^_- haha.

15. Lily Suedette Shoetie size 6 or 6.5 in black pref.

16. Marlena Leatherette Tote black

CUTE CUTE JEWLERIES --- such as these. ^_~

17. Beaded Cross Pendant

18. Caged Pearl Chain

19. Beaded Cluster Pendant

20. Tasseled Charm Necklace

21. Notions Necklace this is... L.O.V.E :D

22. Jewel Ball accent necklace

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HOLY SHITZZZ... >_< that's a lot.... :x but at least... almost ALL of these are found in one place?? xD FOREVER 21!!!!

nd. this is just me looking through stuff nd basically posting anything i think its cute, there are only certain ones i really like. but besides that... if you cant find it, just get me anything you think is cute. <3 i trust your judgment. ^_^

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU. i <3 YOU muchhhhhhh.

Changing too fast.

i've been scarrily depressed this past week...
shutting myself at home, being MIA to everything.
things are really just too much for me to handle atm...

i don't know if i can go out this weekend anymore.


i'll get myself to do the secret santa list soon enough...
i'm sorry my SS. i promise i'll do it... >_<

problems.

Monday, Oct.5 2009

admist all the construction on the house that my parents had started doing again...

my dad got laid-off...

they'd put everything on our remodeling...

i'm scared for whats going to happen now...


i need a stable job. =/ if anyone knows of any... please let me know??

SLAPPED by REALITY

"i woke up late today...
got freaked out...
rushed through my morning routines...
and ran out the door...
thinking to myself that--
my sister would be mad,
i was supposed to take her to school.
my mom would be yelling: for i had bad time management.
i'd get detention... for it's been one too many times i'm late.
i'd missed the bus, for... it's stopped for me 20 mins ago....
--when i was not there?
scared out of my wits... these 20 mins could RUIN MY LIFE...

reached the door.

looked out to the outside world.

nd stopped.


--There was my mom... watering the plants.
she looks at me like i'm a freak.
my sister burst out laughing...
i say sorry about being late...the bus. my school. my sis.

Life... had went on as normally as it ever would.
only i felt anxious. frantic. guilty.

then all my mom did was threw me the morning paper.

i checked the date...

it was Sunday.

and as i stood there... the stupidity of the situation sank in.

life passes idly by on its own tracks.

--i'm standing on my doorstep. half in my pj shortshorts, the other half was a sweater messily pulled over. my hair in a tangle of GODS KNOWS WHAT. with my opened backpack slung over my shoulders.
...people STARED.
...humility SINKS in.
...yet laughter escapes, as an invisible weight lifted off my shoulders and i sighs with relief.
...i realized i no longer CARED. maybe more like PASSED the point of caring...


--I WAS... SLAPPED IN THE FACE BY REALITY." - me.

wow.

just saw picss...

:[ never have i felt so isolated as this.


guess i should have been used to it??

...
...
...
...

well... anywayss...


Happy birthday lily. :]

even tho i was 4 minutes late from saying it to you on the act. dayy... >_<
i'll give you ur present when we hang. :]

HOPE

"i hope that days come easy...and moments pass slow.
and each road leads you... where you want to go,
and if you're faced with a choice
and you have to chose
i hope you chose the one, that means the most to you.
and if one door opens to another door closed
i hope you keep on walking,
till you find the window

my wish for you,
is that life becomes all that you want it,
to your dreams stay big
and your worries stay small
you never need to carry more
than you can hold."

i can let things go now...

since i can seriously say i tried.
tho i am a bit disappointed. after so many yrs. i would think
it would take alot more to ruin things... but the way i see it... if i stopped trying,
then no one else would try. then it would really be the end.
nd now i've stopped.
...
...
...
...
...
oh wells.... lets see how things go from here.



nd.... HELLOO COLLEGE. :D

F *ck my LIFE. 1 (prob first of many...)

Signif. things that happened this week.

- got my braces off. (Braceface no more!! after TWO YEARS!!)

- partly purchased my $326 16gb itouch... (there goes my FIRST paycheck =_=)

- worked my body wayy over it's limits cause was given too much damn hours at F21 (40+ hrs this week. >_<)

- got freakishly sick the ONE DAY i was OFF FROM WORK. >=[

- Missed hanging out with Walton group cause of work...

- Missed the last snowboarding trip with friends cause of work...

- Missed a $100 concert event with my family... cause of work...

- F*CK MY LIFE... cause of work.


now? mentally and bodily tired... and depressed...cause of.... 0_0


....


....



....



.....


Family problems...

(hah. got you there didnt i?? though the bodily part WAS...cause of work)

I repeat...F*ck MY LIFEE. =_=





the only thing to look forward to next week?

Paycheck... nd it BETTER BE A BIG ONE!

(oh yeaa. nd Minh-Thu's Crawfish b-day bash thing. ^^)


F-MY-LIFE.

the end.

It's O.V.E.R.... or is it just a new begining?

I remember every kiss and every hug
We shared before I let you go
Sorry for the pain I never have to give
But I know I still love you so

Dont want to let you go
I really dont want to see you go
But its time for us to say goodbye
I hate to say its over now

[I] Dont want to let you go
I really dont want to feel so cold
Its so hard for me to say goodbye
I hate to say its (its over) over now

... i really DO hate to say it's over now. =X

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yay. dayy off work. ^_^ but i have to work tomorrow until midnight. =[

i seem to making new friends everyday. =]

this year so far was...interesting.

i got into sooo many trouble that i can't even count anymore.

ndd. hmms. i maybe stuck on someone new. =X


1st thing i need to do with my first paycheck... ^_^

BUY A NEW MP3 PLAYER!!! lols. mine's worse than crap now. =[

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interesting thing that happened yesterday. lmao.

dressed in gym clothes... nd heard ppl saying that i look good as a boy. x_x

wtf??? haha. isn't that supposed to be Jackie's JOB??? lmao. i'll upload pics laterz.

then tell me if i really look like one or not. ;]

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special thing for today. Snowboarding hawtness is coming from the bay area to visit!!

^_^ yay!!!

i suggested movie nd sushi afterwardsss.

HE suggested the beach. =X (isnt it kinda cold and windy?? 0_O)

lets just see where things goes. :3

Valentine Weekend (:

wow... this weekend was... hmmss. SOMETHING. =]

best V-Day weekend i've had so far. ^_^

For ze secret V exchange, my Valentine was Hop!!
and i was Dorothy's Valentine. <33>_<
after a punch on the arm from yours truly...Piggie...
and ANOTHER punch (abait accidentally) in the face...ahemmm...my eyess... =[
from Jackie...they seems like they've known each other since FOREVER...
--at my poor expense-- of course. YAY.... me. =_=

btw- those two ALSO got me into a lecture by a Santiago teacher for poor behavior.
godd damn... why do i always get the bad ends of the situation. =[

Friday was...hmmsss. interesting. haha.
Finally a successful attempt at sneaking out... kind of. =]
though i REALLYY gotta thank Hop for totally saving my butt at like... 8:30 in the morning.




hmms.. it's late. =X i'll update more laterzz. ^_^